Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
try to milk me bitch
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