Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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