Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
