Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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