it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
