If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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