I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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