cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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