I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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