he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
