fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
