and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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