Got a toothbrush?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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