I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
