Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
