I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
