Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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