I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she smelled like a LAN party
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
