bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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