Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
