I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
