this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
