tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize