I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
