the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
