You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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