the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
