He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
