Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
