he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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