Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
