his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
