thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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