i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
