And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
