My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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