Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
