i need an iv and a liver transplant
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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