whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
