OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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