he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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