why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
