dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
