I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
