I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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