I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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