He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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