Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
