I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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