he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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