Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He did a backflip because drugs
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
