"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
