i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
