five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
