Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
